We have moved a lot as a family and as exciting as it sounds in reality you can probably guess that it's not very fun when it comes to social life. Moving to a new place means: finding new friends all over again.
If you have been there you know it's not an easy task. Sometimes it seems like it's impossible and there literally aren't any good mom friends out there for you.
While I was looking for new mom friends...
I have to admit I have done pretty embarrassing things when trying to find my new MFF.
- I have strategically walked around the park so I could "accidentally" bump at the "prospect". (creepy!)
- I have swung her child for way too long just so she would come up to the swing (crazy!)
- I would bring extra snacks and offer it to the moms (show off!)
- I would suggest my daughter to play with her daughter (it actually worked really well!)
- I would try to listen to conversations so I could find something common before I approach the new mom friend. (creepy!)
How to find mom friends
After a lot of trial and really embarrassing fails I have learned a lot and can share with you top 6 tips that can help you find mom friends.
1. Get out of the house more often.
Unless, magic happens and an amazing new neighbor knocks on the door with the "welcome muffins" and she is AWESOME (yeah, this isn't the episode of Desperate Housewives). This is real life and stuff like this happens on very rare occasions.
- If you go to the parks (with playgrounds) make sure you go there at the same time of the day. That way you will see the same moms again and again, which will be easier to naturally become friends or at least be familiar with.
- If you choose to go to "Mommy and Me" classes pick a more specific class so there is more chance you can find a like-minded mom.
- If you go to library, make sure to go on the days when they have a reading time. That's when all the moms with kids come. I met some of the best mom friends this way.
- Bookstores are great way to meet mom friends too if you go during story times.
I once met one of the most amazing mom friends at the the weekly library sessions: While the kids were listening to the story I tipped toed to my at that time favorite section of the library - pottery. And I met her reading a book about ... goats. It was instant love moment for me.
2. Go online.
I know it sounds weird, but trust me - it's a legit way to find mom friends if you use the right resources.
Mom Meet Mom is a great online way to meet new mom friends in your area. It's created by 3 moms who had been struggling with finding mom friends. They have build a pretty awesome matching system that can find a perfect mom friend fit for you depending on personalities, hobbies, schedules, interests and so much more. Personally I have never used this platform, but I have a friend that has a whole mom tribe that she found through Mom Meet Mom.
3. Be honest right from the beginning.
When you meet another mom (mom friend potential) at the playground or at the library, don't try to be like her. Be who you are and the right person will appreciate it.
If other mom suggests an activity that is out of your budget - don't be shy to say it.
4. Be specific.
Make a date. If you just exchange numbers and don't make plans, the number will just stay on your phone until you forget whose is it.
Let's have a piknik on Thursday at the park. Would 11 am be good for you guys?
5. Be easy. Be simple and don't judge.
Don't try to match kids and parenting preferences. Your parenting styles may not match but you could still be best friends (unless it's a huge difference). Pick a mom friend, because you like HER, you have things in common and you enjoy her company. Yes, it would be super awesome that your kids would click too, but it shouldn't be a deal breaker.
6. Know that YOU ARE as good as the rest of them.
Share with us your most successful stories about how you found your mom friend.
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